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Texas, United States

3/30/2015

Are You Old Enough To Remember These?

Burma-Shave sign series first appeared in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1925, and remained a major advertising component until 1963 in most of the contiguous United States. Typically, six consecutive small signs would be posted along the edge of highways, spaced for sequential reading by passing motorists. The last sign was almost always the name of the product.
 
***** 
I remember in the 1940's and 50's always looking forward to Daddy reading the signs to us as he drove past them because they always tickled him and us too the way he read them. They were posted, sometimes on fence posts, on major roads as well as rural ones. I wonder how many other drivers ran off the road paying more attention to the signs than driving.
 
 
Violets are blue
Roses are pink
On graves
Of those
Who drive and drink
Burma-Shave
 
 
Doesn't
Kiss you
Like she useter?
Perhaps she's seen
A smoother rooster!!
Burma-Shave
 
 

Train wrecks few
Reason clear
Fireman
Never hugs
Engineer
Burma-Shav
e

 
 

The whale
Put Jonah
Down the hatch
But coughed him up
Because he scratched
Burma-Shave

 

To kiss
A mug
That's like a cactus
Takes more nerve
Than it does practice
Burma-Shave

 

If your peach
Keeps out
Of reach
Better practice
What we preach
Burma-Shave

 
 

A whiskery kiss
For the one
You adore
May not make her mad
But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave

 

These signs
We gladly
Dedicate
To men who've had
No date of late
Burma-Shave

 

On curves ahead
Remember, sonny
That rabbit's foot
Didn't save
The bunny
Burma-Shave

 
 

His cheek
Was rough
His chick vamoosed
And now she won't
Come home to roost
Burma-Shave
*****
Ah...the good old days when everything was much simpler...including roadside commercials!
 
 

3/24/2015

Where Else But Texas?

Well...maybe 150 years.
 

Now which way do I want to go?
 
We have a lot of nothing in West Texas.
 
I'm not sure which Idiot Texas President they are referring to.
 
And where are those indicators?
 

The back door is in the front?
 
We have a lot of these warning signs and yet trucks
 still get stuck in bridges.
 
Fill up everything.
 

I pass this sign quite often on I10 and I haven't heard her yet.
 

As opposed to not so sudden gunfire on the highway?
 
We accommodate all drivers.
 

I thought my hometown was God's country!
 


Nothing in common with the real Paris.
 
Just in case a Harley driver reads road signs.
 

Surprise!...another speeding 18 wheeler has jackknifed in front of you.
 

How deep?
 
That's sure a lot of prisons.
 
I don't think you can get there from here.
 
What? I thought shooting road signs was every Texas teenagers right of passage.
 
Just don't go 75 or you will instigate road rage.
 
Lots of deer in Texas.
 
Obviously lots of heavy drinkers in Texas also.
 
Einee Meeny Miney Moe...which way do I want to go?
 
For the horseback riders I suppose
 
They are bigger than your SUV
 
Feeling like a short drive or a long one?
 
Tumbleweed hitchhikers.
 
 
 
You better behave on Texas roads.


3/19/2015

Craving Lemons

 
 
 
Drinking lemon water first thing in the morning has been a popular trend for years. It’s been touted as rejuvenating your skin, boosting metabolism, fighting off viruses, and more — but is it really so absolutely, incredibly, fantastically beneficial and life-changing?
 
 

 
When you first wake up, pour a glass of filtered, room temperature water. Water that is too hot or ice-cold requires more energy for your body to process, so it’s best to slowly wake up your body with warm water. Squeeze juice from a lemon into your water. (If you are under 150 pounds, use half a lemon. If you are over 150 pounds, use a whole one.) Drink it fairly quickly, and wait at least a half hour before eating to reap the most benefits.

What are the benefits?
 

1. Rejuvenates Your Skin: Lemons have loads of vitamin C, which assists in the production of collagen, helps in the prevention of wrinkles, and defends your skin against free-radical damage. Water also helps carry nutrients to your cells, so staying properly hydrated is important!
 
2. Boosts Energy & Alertness: The potassium in lemon helps with brain and nerve function, which can increase your alertness. Plus, according to Natural Health Magazine, scientists found that just a whiff of lemon can boost your feel-good hormones and reduce stress levels. Drinking water also helps in this arena, as dehydration can drain your body’s energy and make you feel sluggish.
 
3. Hydrates Your Body: When your body is dehydrated, it holds on to fat cells, and dehydration can also make make you feel hungry. Staying hydrated is crucial for your overall body health, so starting your day with a glass of water is a no-brainer. Plus, the lemon gives it a flavor boost.
 
4. Helps Your Immune System: The ascorbic acid (vitamin C) found in lemons is necessary for healing wounds. Lemon water is also touted as helping break up phlegm during a cold and soothing sore throats. Drinking water during illness is crucial, as your body’s defenses are working overtime to fight off sickness.
 
5. Eliminates Toxins: The liver responds to fresh lemon juice more than any other food source because it amps up its enzyme production. This boosts the liver’s efficiency in secreting bile for digestion and releasing toxins. Lemon juice is known as being a diuretic, which means it helps your kidneys eliminate water and some toxins by increasing the frequency of urination. This could potentially help people who suffer from UTI’s.
 
6. Could Aid In Weight loss: In addition to helping regulate your metabolism, lemons also contain pectin fiber. This fiber makes you feel full, and therefore can help stave off hunger and prevent cravings. Drinking plenty of water also contributes to this full feeling. By combining two natural ingredients, lemon and water, you’re already starting your day on a healthy note — and this can lead to better eating habits throughout the day.
 
7. Improves Digestion: The acidity of lemons stimulates your digestive system and liver. This can help regulate your metabolism and bowel movements, thus helping your body absorb nutrients — and potentially leading to weight loss.
 
What Are The Drawbacks?
Citrus erodes enamel.
* Brush your teeth before your lemony beverage, or wait an hour. Acid softens enamel, so brushing too soon after consuming acidic foods and drink can aid in erosion.
* Rinse your mouth out with purified water after you drink the lemon water.
* Drink through a straw and be sure not to swish the lemon water around in your mouth.
* Drink the lemon water within a few minutes, rather than sipping on it all morning.
Too much acidity can cause heartburn. If you’re prone to heartburn, a dose of zingy citrus in the morning may not be your best route. Discuss it with your doctor.
 
So Is It Worth It?

Water and lemon are easily accessible and cheap, and that has contributed to its popularity. Besides helping you stay hydrated, lemon water’s star component is vitamin C, which can also be found in high amounts in other fruits and vegetables, like citrus fruits, green vegetables, and peppers. So while lemon water may not be a miracle-worker, it can certainly help you lead a healthy, energized lifestyle.
******
 
I have seen several of these "lemon" articles lately and they made me wonder back to the 1950's when I was pregnant with my first child. That is the only pregnancy I ever "irrationally" craved anything and it was lemons. I'm sure I ate way over a bushel and if I ran out, I would make a special trip to the grocery store to get more. I asked my O.B. about it and he claimed it wouldn't hurt the baby and it didn't, he was born very healthy and still is.
 
 I still always order lemon with my water in restaurants but that's because it helps disguise the taste of "strange" water.

 
 




2/25/2015

The Green Thing

 
 
 
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.
The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."
 
The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
 
The older lady said that she was right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain:

 
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
 
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.

 
We walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.
 
 
Back then we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day. 

Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
 
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
 
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a r azor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the"green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
 
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?
 
 

2/17/2015

The Funny & The Scary Aspects Of Capitalism

THE FUNNY ASPECT
 
Traditional Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
 
 
American Capitalism
 
Your have two cows. You sell three of them to you publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your bother-in-law at the bank, then exeute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
 
 
 
Australian Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
 
French Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
 
Japanese Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
 
German Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.
 
British Capitalism
 
You have two cows. Both are mad.
 
Canadian Capitalism
 
You have two cows. Come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose-in fact, yes they are. One speaks French, one speaks English. One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it. They both play ice hockey rather well.
 
Italian Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch. 
 
Russian capitalism
 
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and find you have 42 cows. You count again and you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
 
Swiss Capitalism
 
You have two cows, none of which belong to you. You charge outrageous fees for storing them.
 
Chinese Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine production, and arrest and detain without trial the journalist who reports the number of cows.
 
New Zealand Capitalism
 
You have two cows. That one on the left is rather cute.
 
*****
 
THE SCARY ASPECT
 
 
 
 

 

 
 
The bare facts have become rather scary.